This is our soapbox

This is our opinionated soapbox on philanthropy, fundraising, the charitable sector and the world. For more information, visit GoalBusters.net or call 888.883.2690.

Monday, October 20, 2014

"Life is just a pale imitation of high school"

My Alma mater, West High School, Madison, WI
In the 1980's series, thirtysomething, one character utters the line, "Life is just a pale imitation of high school." Obviously, this quote has stuck with me for a long time, among the many random verses, song lyrics and trivia trapped in my brain.

Even the most enlightened adults continue to label people for one facet of their personality--"the geek," "the jock," or "the popular girl" now replaced with "the IT guy," "the former quarterback," or "the real housewife of (fill in the blank city)." We still make decisions about a person based on who their friends are, or essentially what "clique" the person is in. We still let petty differences create big rifts that can never be forgiven. And of course, there's interpersonal drama because someone didn't do what they said they were going to do and now there's a huge blow up because you didn't get voted class president, or homecoming queen, or most likely to succeed.

But it wasn't all bad in high school, right?

Here are thoughts on things from high school to apply to adult life:

  • Some people are unexpected friends. Senior night, I ended up hanging out on the bus back to the school with a bunch of people I didn't normally spend a lot of time with. My "close" friends were no where to be found. Singing "Celebration" on the bus with people who were mostly just acquaintances was the most fun I had all night. I'm still connected to some of them 26 years later, and wonder sometimes why I didn't spend more time with them in high school. Who are people now who are those unexpected friends? 
  • Some people are not really your friends. I know I have my share of friends who at best, didn't keep in touch or at worst, totally abandoned me. Friends ebb and flow. Some people are more interested in your position in the clique than you personally. Let them go.
  • No clique lasts forever. Cliques are based on a power balance. As cliques grow, they start to lose their influence over the members. Eventually, the power shifts and new cliques form. Sometimes you just need to wait it out.
  • It might be time to graduate. You can't stay in high school forever...maybe it's time to move on to a new adventure.
  • It will seem rosier when you look back on this than it feels like right now. The nostalgia card is powerful, isn't it? Someday, with the passage of time, this will not seem like a total disaster. You'll want to go back and celebrate it, for old time's sake.

Labels

Alice Ferris (96) Jim Anderson (71) AFP (40) ACFRE (38) GoalBusters Consulting (30) goalbusters (30) CFRE (28) fundraising (28) Training (23) nonprofit (22) 100 days of gratitude (21) Association of Fundraising Professionals (18) 100 days (17) AFP Conference (16) Presentations (16) 2009 (15) 2014 (15) Social Media (15) gratitude (15) 2010 (14) AFPNAZ (14) 2013 (13) philanthropy (13) 2012 (11) Workshop (11) 2011 (10) travel (10) How To (9) arizona (8) thank you (8) 2008 (7) Facebook (7) Flagstaff (7) KAWC (7) Marketing (7) Video (7) Volunteer (7) YouTube (7) FAQ (6) Food (6) Public Radio (6) Storytelling (6) Tips (6) 2017 (5) LinkedIn (5) Making the Ask (5) NFCB (5) Planning (5) Social Networking (5) Webinar (5) restaurants (5) rural fundraising (5) 2016 (4) Air Travel (4) Chinese New Year (4) Christmas (4) Donor (4) KGHR (4) KUYI (4) Major Gifts (4) Native American (4) Planned Giving (4) Pledge Drive (4) Public Broadcasting (4) Public Television (4) SlideShare (4) Special Events (4) Stevenson (4) Video Production (4) board development (4) ethics (4) stewardship (4) 2015 (3) Arizona PBS (3) Baltimore (3) Brand (3) Capital Campaign (3) Chinese (3) Community (3) Conference (3) Development Staff (3) Donor Acquisition (3) Economy (3) Elf (3) Elves (3) Goals (3) HEEF (3) Haiku Deck (3) Health Care (3) Holiday (3) Hopi (3) Jimisms (3) KAWC Colorado River Public Media (3) Lowell Observatory (3) Manifesto (3) Mission (3) North Country HealthCare (3) PBS (3) Passion (3) Photography (3) Promotion (3) Research (3) Small Shops (3) Wisconsin (3) Year-End Giving (3) customer service (3) phoenix (3) prescott (3) resolutions (3) yuma (3) 2007 (2) AFP TechKnow (2) Accreditation (2) Advancing Philanthropy (2) Alice's Restaurants (2) Books (2) Business Strategy (2) CFRE International (2) Canada (2) Chronicle of Philanthropy (2) Coaches (2) Commentary (2) Communication (2) Congress (2) Dancing (2) Dr. John H. Caskey III (2) Elta Foster (2) Foodspotting (2) Fundraising Campaign (2) Funny (2) Guiding Principles (2) Honor (2) Hopi Education Endowment Fund (2) Humor (2) Immigrant (2) Jib Jab (2) KAET (2) NAU (2) New Orleans (2) Partners (2) Plan (2) Press Release (2) Profile (2) Prospecting (2) Relationships (2) Respect (2) Resume (2) Reviews (2) Sanders (2) Schultz Fire (2) Singing (2) Strategic Planning (2) TechKnow (2) Trust (2) Twitter (2) VIP (2) Values (2) Velvet Rope (2) Visionary (2) Vora Finacial (2) accountability (2) anniversary (2) appreciation (2) award (2) change (2) checklist (2) code of ethics (2) crisis communication (2) cultivation (2) culture of philanthropy (2) development (2) development cycle (2) diversity (2) education (2) goal setting (2) habits (2) introspection (2) jobs (2) lapsed donors (2) las vegas (2) lessons (2) new year (2) san diego (2) tripit (2) washington DC (2) 30 day plan (1) 50th Anniversary (1) 60 minutes (1) AFP Foundation Canada (1) AFP Meeting (1) AFPeeps (1) ALD (1) AWC (1) African American (1) Alexis de Tocqueville (1) Alpha Lambda Delta (1) Andrew Philips (1) Animoto (1) Anna LaBenz (1) Annagreta Jacobson (1) Apps (1) Arizona Daily Sun (1) Arizona University (1) Arizona Western College (1) Ask the Experts (1) Bequests (1) Bill Ferris (1) Blink (1) Bloomerang (1) Boot Camp (1) Boudros (1) Branding (1) Broadway (1) CAN-SPAM (1) CN Tower EdgeWalk (1) CPB (1) Career Change (1) Case (1) Center on Philanthropy (1) Certified Fund Raising Executive (1) Charity Channel (1) Cheerleaders (1) Children (1) Chris Adams (1) Church (1) City Council (1) Cleveland (1) Cold Call (1) Colorado (1) Commission (1) Community Service (1) Compensation (1) Cook (1) Corporate Giving (1) Credential (1) Credentialing (1) Dan Coughlin (1) Data (1) Dating Game (1) Dave Ferris (1) Dave Tinker (1) Desert (1) Dharmesh Vora (1) Discovery Channel Telescope (1) Donald Sutherland (1) Douglas Adams (1) Dr. Carl Myers (1) Dr. William J. Rugg (1) Ed Renzi (1) Efficiency (1) Elevator Speech (1) Entrepreneur Magazine (1) FM (1) FTC (1) Family (1) Fan Pages (1) Farm (1) Fast Food Nation (1) Feasibility Study (1) Feedback (1) Flagstaff Community Partnership (1) Flood (1) Flowers (1) Foundations (1) Frances McAllister (1) Free (1) Fundraising Effectiveness Project (1) Gallup Q12 (1) Ginny Z. Berson (1) Girl Scouts (1) Giving USA (1) Goldilocks Proposals (1) Granite Mountain Hotshots (1) Grant Writing (1) Grants (1) Grants Step by Step (1) Hash House A Go Go (1) Hawaii (1) Healthcare (1) Hey Eleanor (1) Hiring (1) Hispanic (1) Hopi Foundation (1) Hospital (1) House of Philanthropy (1) Houston (1) IAIA (1) IHQ (1) Identity (1) Immigration (1) In Kind (1) Indiana University (1) JC Patrick (1) JLB Project (1) January (1) Jetpack America (1) Jim Collins (1) Jimmy LaRose (1) KUAT (1) Kaleidoscope (1) Karla Williams (1) Ken Lain (1) KonMari (1) Kristin Taliaferro (1) KristinCoach (1) Latino (1) Lawrence Welk (1) Le Pavillon (1) Legacy (1) Living Social (1) Lodging (1) Los Angeles (1) Lotus of Siam (1) MIP (1) Mabel's on Main (1) Madison (1) Makeover Series (1) Malcolm Brett (1) Malcolm Gladwell (1) Margo Hudson (1) Marshall Rosenberg (1) Mary W. Black (1) Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (1) McDonalds (1) Meeting Facilitation (1) Methodist (1) Mexican (1) Michael Nilsen (1) Middle East (1) Montessori in the Park (1) Mr Rogers (1) MySpace (1) NAFB (1) NANOE (1) NPR (1) NSU (1) NaNope (1) Nan Bain (1) Navajo (1) Nepal (1) New York (1) News (1) Nietzche (1) Nonviolent Communication (1) Northern Arizona University (1) Organizational Readiness (1) Orlando (1) PMDMC (1) PRPD (1) Pacifica (1) Parade (1) Partners in Recognition (1) Paul Helford (1) Philanthropist (1) Pittsburgh (1) Plenary Speaker (1) Politics (1) Porgy and Bess (1) Prezi (1) Proposal (1) Publications (1) Quentin Lee (1) Questions (1) Racial Profiling (1) Raku (1) Review (1) Rick Swanson (1) River City Grill (1) Riverwalk (1) Robbe Healey (1) Robert Kiyosaki (1) Ronald McDonald House (1) Rose Marie Ferris (1) SB1070 (1) SEO (1) SWOT (1) San Antonio (1) Scottsdale (1) Service (1) Serving Your Community (1) Shared History (1) Soroptimists (1) Speaker (1) Sponsors (1) Sponsorship (1) Spring (1) Stephen Hawking (1) Stereotypes (1) Steve Ferris (1) Strategic Thinking (1) Super Size me (1) Sweets Raku (1) Taco Trucks (1) Target Marketing (1) Team (1) Teamwork (1) Television (1) Teri Sanders (1) Texas (1) Thanksgiving (1) Tim Burcham (1) Timothy Sandoval (1) Toolkit (1) Toronto (1) Tough (1) Tough Economy (1) Train (1) Tucson (1) Tweets (1) United President's Club (1) Vernon Kahe (1) WBAI (1) Watters Garden Center (1) Whitney Anderson (1) WikiHow (1) Wills (1) Wisconsin Public Television (1) Women's March on Washington (1) Woodford Reserve (1) Yarnell (1) Yarnell Fire (1) Year in review (1) Year of the Sheep (1) Yellow Pages (1) administration (1) adventures (1) assessment (1) beliefs (1) birthday (1) board of governors (1) board service (1) breaking up (1) brochures (1) budget cuts (1) business practices (1) career satisfaction (1) cats (1) cliques (1) community radio (1) crisis (1) difficult people (1) dinner parties (1) diverse communities (1) donor focused (1) donor pyramid (1) election 2016 (1) end of relationship (1) essay (1) federal funding (1) firefighters (1) for profit (1) high school (1) hotels (1) inspiration (1) jetpack (1) job seeking (1) keynote (1) lemons (1) live your dream (1) loss (1) memory (1) mentoring (1) millennials (1) monthly giving (1) motivation (1) multicultural (1) nomination (1) oklahoma city (1) organizational culture (1) outstanding professional (1) peoria (1) personal (1) potlucks (1) receptions (1) recognition (1) red flags (1) remembrance (1) sales (1) san francisco (1) scholarships (1) science (1) setbacks (1) star thrower (1) starfish (1) sustaining members (1) tempe (1) thirtysomething (1) three cups of tea (1) to do (1) transformational (1) volunteers (1) wildland fire (1) winslow (1)