When Things Don't Go As Planned

Twenty years ago this week, I arrived in Flagstaff, Arizona to start my new job as Director of Development for Lowell Observatory. I was 26 years old, in my first senior management level position, and I had no clue how I was going to accomplish what the institution expected of me.

Nothing has gone as planned since then.

I thought that the job at Lowell would get me enough experience to move back to Wisconsin, so that I could move up the ranks at Wisconsin Public Television. I was supposed to be in Arizona for four years, then move “home.” Instead, I quit my job at Lowell Observatory after four years to have my son, Matthew, reluctantly turned down a job offer at Wisconsin Public Television, and dedicated myself to being a stay at home mom. Which lasted three months.

Since then, my journey has been a series of twists and turns, none of which I was expecting. I founded my consulting firm when Matthew was three months old. I vowed I wouldn't specialize in public media, yet my second client was a public radio station and now the majority of our clients are in public media. I said I wouldn't go back to work full time, yet when Matthew was two, I was working full-time at the local hospital, running the foundation. I thought I'd go back to public media as a staff person for the rest of my career, but I barely made it two years due to conflicts with my boss. I thought I'd have more children, but after a miscarriage or two, that wasn't in the cards.

I didn't think that my consulting practice would amount to much, especially since one of my professors in my MBA program said I didn't have the mindset of an entrepreneur, yet here I am with a modestly successful 15 year old company.

I steadily moved up in volunteer leadership roles with the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP) International, holding positions in all divisions of service, yet after three failed attempts to serve as chair of the organization, I was making no progress.

I never thought I'd be a cat person. (#random)

At every turn, however, something good has eventually resulted from it. Because of these unplanned turns of events, I have worked with several public media organizations with people who are genuinely passionate about the role noncommercial media plays in lifelong learning and civic dialogue. I've traveled the world presenting at conferences, AFP meetings, and nonprofits who are energized by my workshops and talks. I've met dozens upon dozens of earnest and enthusiastic AFP volunteers who remind me that it's not about what titles we have, but about the volunteer impact.

And today, thanks to Jim Anderson, I was honored as the AFP Northern Arizona Outstanding Fundraising Professional for a surprise third time, with an amazing tribute video that Jim crafted. It featured testimonials from some very special people: Ken Verdoia, my Downton Abbey (among other programs) pledge partner and consummate broadcasting professional; LuAnn Leonard, Executive Director of the Hopi Education Endowment Fund, who has been an inspiration to me and whose organization has been a benchmark for other charities we serve; Scott Fortnum, MA, CFRE, ACFRE, a stalwart AFP colleague and valued peer volunteer; Dave Riek, General Manager at KAWC and a public media colleague since I moved to Flagstaff, who has been with GoalBusters every step of the way; Rick Swanson, another colleague and friend who was instrumental in launching GoalBusters full-time and cooks up a mean lobster feast; Bob Marty, television producer extraordinaire, who raised my profile exponentially in the PBS system with the honor of working on the Downton Abbey pledge events; and my parents, Jim and Annie Lin, who have supported my efforts without exception my entire life. Of course, Jim Anderson's in-person commentary made me cry, saying that I change the lives of everyone I touch, including him, even though, 11 years ago, he declared that he was unchangeable.

And now we face another unexpected turn in the United States. I am devastated by the results of the presidential election. For the first 6 hours after the results became clear, I could not stop crying.

But I have to believe that something good will come of this. I must believe this; it's the only way I will get through the days, weeks, months, and four years coming up. Maybe it will be improved civic engagement. Maybe it will be activation of communities who don't accept a cult of fear. Maybe it will be new collaborations and partnerships that never seemed possible before. I don't know, and it's too early, too raw, to tell.

What I do know is that the nonprofit community will continue to improve people's lives, no matter what. Funding sources may not be the same, and the players come and go, but, as in the hundreds of years before now, the American philanthropic sector will survive the winds of change. Regardless of your political persuasion, we will need time to heal, to forgive, and importantly, to listen, but we must be committed to continuing and expanding our work.

In the days leading up to the election, I posted a quote from Jane Goodall: “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

I want to make the world a better place. I don't know how to do that right now, but it will come to light. So how do you want to impact the world?

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This blog first appeared on the GoalBusters Blog and reflects the personal opinions, experience, and far too public emotional processing of Alice Ferris.

A Salute to a Brave Founder and her Baby

October 15 was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, which was recognized and supported by the JLB Project, an organization in Flagstaff, Arizona that offers support for those who have lost a baby.

I spoke about the JLB Project and its founders, Anna and Mike LaBenz, at the AFP Arizona Statewide Conference in July 2015, hosted by the AFP Northern Arizona Chapter, and shared the following remarks. This seems like a good time to share them again.

***

Today, I'd like to tell you a story about a courageous and big hearted woman named Anna.

I first met Anna LaBenz nine years ago. She and her husband, Mike, had approached the Flagstaff Medical Center Foundation wanting to make a substantial gift to the hospital. As the former Foundation Director, I was brought in to help advise on the gift.

And I turned the gift down. Sort of. Let me tell you why.

You see, I met Anna at a very difficult time in her life. She and Mike had been expecting their second child and tragically lost their son at full term due to an umbilical cord accident. As you can imagine, they were devastated. But they also felt lonely...almost ostracized...by their loss. What do you say to someone who loses a child this way?

Anna wanted to do something to channel her grief. So we talked about what she and Mike wanted to do with their gift.

“We want to help other parents who are dealing with this. No one should have to go through this alone.”

What Anna and Mike identified, was that there were plenty of grief counseling programs for people who have lost loved ones, or even lost a child. But a program that could talk with parents who lost a child from conception through the first year? Those programs were very rare, and very erratic in their implementation.

I told Anna and Mike, very honestly, that the hospital was not the place for their gift. The hospital was a great place for acute care, but not for dealing with the impact afterward. I ended up connecting them with Northland Hospice, and Anna began the program there. After a short while, it became clear that there was a much greater need for their program than either Anna or Mike anticipated, so Anna bravely launched her own nonprofit, the JLB Project, standing for “Jack's Little Brother.”

The story could have stopped there. Another nonprofit launched, another gift directed to what the donor felt passionately about.

But there's more to the story.

The JLB Project has now been a pretty stable nonprofit for about 8 years. Anna has served as the Board President for the entire time, taking the lead on most things. I helped with board training early on, and I kept in touch with Anna, so I wasn't surprised to hear from her recently. She asked for a short advising session to talk about JLB.

What she said to me in that discussion was shockingly astute. She said, “This organization IS JLB. I've kept him alive through this organization for 8 years. But I think I need to let him grow up. I think I need to let myself let go.”

That...is one of the most brave things I have ever heard come out of a founder's mouth.

Anna could have easily blamed burnout. It's so common in the nonprofit sector—we give and give, for little return, and we just exhaust ourselves.

Anna could have blamed other people involved. We often blame our board, our staff, our donors, our clients, for our challenges, even when it's not necessarily fair to do so.

Anna could have blamed a lack of resources. No nonprofit has enough staff, or enough money to fund the staff, or enough...anything.

But instead, she looked to herself. And realized it was time to let the organization grow.

When she started JLB Project, it was just like JLB would have been. It was an infant, needing constant attention and lots of personal investment.

As the organization became established, it was like a toddler. More people could be involved in the care and feeding of the JLB Project, but Anna, MOM, was still the primary caregiver.

When it became a “preschooler,” the JLB Project went through some growing pains, and a few things got parceled out to other team members, but the main weight of the responsibility still lay on the mom, on Anna.

Now, JLB Project needs a little independence.

It's not ready to fly on its own. I think Anna understands that she still needs to be involved. To be the moral compass. But it's ready to not have “mom” involved all the time.

And it's hard as a parent, some times, to let go.

I infinitely respect Anna for understanding that the future success of the JLB Project requires that she, as the founder, give it a little space. It's so easy for founders of organizations to make it about them, or about their personal needs, thinking no one can do this as well as they can. Instead, Anna is about helping the organization grow.

So now, what Anna is looking for, are people that she can trust to help take care of her maturing “child.” And she has to believe in her heart, that as a parent, she has imbued this child, this organization, with enough of her values that it will continue on the right path.

In July 2015, Anna posted a beautiful photo of JLB on Facebook. Her caption read:

"9 years. 3,585 days. 78,840 hours. 4,730,400 minutes. That is how long it has been since you changed it all. Happy Birthday my sweet boy. In your life and in your death I have received so many gifts. I would give it all back to hold you for one more minute, one more hour, one more day, or one more year. Love you always. Mommy."

JLB will always live for Anna and Mike LaBenz. And thanks to Anna's visionary leadership, I'm confident the JLB Project will live on as a critical community service, and a fitting tribute to JLB, and to his loving parents.

***
Afterword: Several months after these remarks, I was honored to facilitate the JLB Project's reflective, cathartic, and often emotional strategic planning process. They are now moving forward with a plan to help the organization grow in a way that supports self-care for the participants, and personal and organizational resilience. Several people have stepped up for increased responsibility in "parenting" JLB. I'm extremely proud of their efforts, and encourage people to support them. If you'd like to give or volunteer, visit their website or Facebook page.

100 Days of Gratitude, Day 10: The Cheerleaders

I'm grateful for all of the people who enthusiastically encourage others to do good work, congratulate them on their successes and help keep up morale when someone needs a "boost."

You can probably rattle off a quick list of the cheerleaders in your life. They are family, friends and collegues who were thrilled for you when you applied for a new job or went back to school or volunteered at your first nonprofit.

They may be that person at work that checks in on you when you're working on a project and with a few kind words and a smile, rekindles your energy when you were thinking of "taking a break" or worse, giving up.

Cheerleaders validate your strengths, wisdom and capabilitites especially in the times you struggle with frustrations and self-doubt.

Like you, I have a long list of Cheerleaders who are consistently "there" for me but I had to pick someone to be the first person I called. It was easy because Mary Black started a "cheer" for me as I was writing this blog. Mary is often the first person to cheer Alice Ferris and I on as we're working on a project, the first to applaud our performance at presentations and the first to celebrate and share our successes. I'm taking Mary out for cocktails and I'll bring along a bottle of Grey Goose for her as a "thank you" for all the support she provides us and others. 

Real cheerleaders like Mary aren't just Polyannas, that flatter you with meaningless platitudes and sweet cheerul cliches. Real cheerleaders pay attention. They understand what you are trying to accomplish, why it's important to you and the obstacles you're faced with. 

And if you fail or things don't go the way you hoped, your Cheerleaders will still be there for you. They will be the first ones that offer a hand to help you up if you stumble. They dust you off, give you a hug and then nudge you back the direction you were headed. They never doubt you for failing, they celebrate you for trying and encourage you to try again.

Sometimes these cheerleaders are people we've inspired, and often they become our inspiration. They make it easier to keep believing in ourselves. We find ourselves thinking of our cheerleaders as we take action. We see their face and anticipate their reaction as we make choices. They are constant reminders that we are not "in this" alone. Someone is invested in our success. And we won't let them down. We can't let them down.

Here's to our Cheerleaders! "GO TEAM!"

There are countless ways for you to be a Cheerleader. Here are 3 suggestions of how you can be someone's Cheerleader today.

1. Recognize someone publicly for work that they've done.
2. Encourage someone's progress on a project or goal they are working toward.
3. Praise someone for their kindness, generosity, tenacity or wisdom.

See, that was easy.

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Connect with GoalBusters     

Jim Anderson      GoalBustersJim

Alice Ferris      alice.ferris

100 Days of Gratitude, Day 8: Investing in Our Profession

Past and present AFP Vice Chairs of Membership (l to r):
Alice Ferris, Joyce Mitchell-Antoine, Joseph Goepfrich,
Susan Earl Hosbach, Ann Hale, and Vice President Lori Gusdorf.
Not pictured:
Bill Hallett, Phil Schumacher, Jay Frey

People who know me know that I have invested a lot of time volunteering for the Association of Fundraising Professionals. In spite of the challenges of the time, travel and financial contributions, it is still one of my most fulfilling volunteer jobs.

But how did this come to be?

Like a lot of things in life, when I started this adventure, I wasn't expecting much. I was serving my first year (of eventually four years) as president of the small but mighty AFP Northern Arizona Chapter. I got some letter (yes, letter) inviting me to serve on an international committee, and I blindly signed up. It was the Chapter Support Subcommittee, chaired by Susan Earl Hosbach, CFRE.

I had no idea what I was getting into, but before long, I volunteered to do something. I don't even remember what it was, but Susan immediately identified me as a "good volunteer." And someone with leadership potential, apparently, because when she moved up in the volunteer structure, so did I.

Phil Schumacher, CFRE, ACFRE, got into the mix as well, encouraging me in other volunteer and leadership areas in the membership division of AFP. Others in the division leadership also supported my involvement, including Roderick Reinhart, CFRE, Jay Frey, CFRE, Ann Hale, CFRE, Joyce Mitchell-Antoine, CFRE and Vice President of Member and Chapter Services, Lori Gusdorf, CAE. (Not a complete list, for sure!) Eventually, I served as Vice Chair of Membership in 2009-2010, which was one of my most challenging and most rewarding volunteer commitments to date.

So what did all these people do to encourage my volunteer service?

1. Provided genuine appreciation for my work. I never felt like someone was just giving me lip service. They provided timely, personal and specific thanks for my efforts.
2. Followed through on promises. If they said they were going to do something, they did it. Or, if it became unrealistic to follow through, they provided logical reasons why and alternate solutions.
3. Challenged me to stretch. I naturally gravitate, as most people do, toward things I'm good at. They often recognized before I did where I would excel.
4. Brought me into the bigger vision. I never felt like I was only privy to a small part of the picture. These leaders led and shared the big picture and made sure that budding leaders knew the direction we were headed.
5. Encouraged me to develop leadership that would come after me. Leadership in the membership division is not just about your current term, it's about who will serve next. It's easier to think big picture when you know there will be skilled leadership after you.

I am still involved in AFP, now not only in the membership division, but also in external relations, professional advancement and in resource development through the Canadian Foundation. I'm in the process of writing to many people who have invested their volunteer time in advancing philanthropy through our professional association, most of whom have also become my good friends in the process. In the meantime, thank you for your work and for influencing my philanthropic life.

100 Days of Gratitude, Day 7: It's Not Who You Know, It's Who Believes In You

Paul Helford, NAU November 1994

When I hear someone say, "I'm a selfmade man/woman," or... "No one gave me a thing," I know they are either lying or oblivious. Because no one succeeds alone. Everyone is helped in their journey by people who care about and believe in them enough to help them find opportunities. My life is filled with these people, much like yours is.

For me, one of these people is Paul Helford, who I called to thank for believing in me for all these years. Paul teaches many courses at Northern Arizona University including "The Art of Cinema," "Audio/Visual Storytelling," and "Screenwriting." This seems apropos considering Paul helped me set the stage for success and scripted a few pages of my future.

I invited Paul to dinner where I'll thank him for all he has done.  For now, I'll share just 3 ways he has demonstrated his belief in me.

He trusted that I was capable. When I was working my way through college, Paul always had "a new project" to discuss with me. They were diverse, exciting, challenging and sometimes a little scary. Paul would offer me these opportunities because he felt that I had the skills and motivation to be successful. (...and he was compassionate) I often arrived at his office to discuss a potential project with my 6 year old daughter in tow. Paul was always happy to see Whitney. He'd open his "snack drawer" filled with granola bars and let her pick something to enjoy. She'd watch cartoons as Paul and I discussed his ideas, projects and opportunities.

Alpha Lambda Delta Honor Society Induction Nov 1994

He encouraged my leadership development. Paul has always seemed confident that if I was willing and eager to try something new, I would learn how to succeed. Paul helped me turn my "abundant confidence and foolish optimism" into meaningful leadership roles through his mentoring and friendship. Whether it was for small teams or larger clubs and organizations Paul provided opportunities for and supported my personal growth.

He enabled my "Big Switch" Career Change. Years later, after a successful career in corporate sales for national media research companies, I grew disillusioned and was faced with a choice regarding how I would write the next chapter of my life. It had to be fulfilling and significant. I needed to make a difference. Paul believed in me enough to help me earn a spot as an instructor at NAU where I taught communications, research, marketing, promotion and sales to hundreds of students each semester. This was an amazing experience and supported the instruction and education work I do now.

But the most significant impact Paul has had on my life, was that he gave my phone number to a friend of his who gave it to Alice Ferris, who hired me and later invited me to partner in her consulting firm, which we rebranded as GoalBusters Consulting. But "that" is a blog for another day.

Thank you for everything Paul! Not just for what you've meant to my family but for everything you've done for the thousands of students whose lives you've touched and for those you'll meet next semester.

PS: (Ok, I know I said 3, but I have one more way Paul helped me.)

Whitney, Jim & Justin - November 1994

He helped put food on my table.
In college, my ex-wife and I were "tag-team" parents, each working multiple part-time jobs while carrying heavy course loads and taking turns caring for our two children. It was always hard to make ends meet. Paul didn't know that I regularly visited a local food bank when he either hired me or helped me find employment projects. The "extra work" he helped me find, improved our quality of life and increased the happiness in our home with each time sheet I turned in. For this, I am also eternally grateful.

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Connect with GoalBusters     

Jim Anderson      GoalBustersJim

Alice Ferris      alice.ferris

100 Days of Gratitude, Day 6: How to Thank "Just Because"

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wrote another thank you note today. It was to someone who's been a good friend who has had a tough few months.

As I was writing the note, I realized that, just like my first note in the 100 days, I don't write these often enough. Also, it's one thing to write a note to someone for a tangible item, like a gift. It's completely another to thank someone "just because."

In the nonprofit world, we as fundraising practitioners often ask our volunteers to call someone to "just thank them for their support." Equally as often, our volunteers put it off. Why?

Because it's different to thank someone for something intangible.

So based on the first week of the 100 Days of Gratitude, here are my tips.

1. Acknowledge that this thanks is "out of the blue." We live in a transactional environment. The recipient might think, "What are they buttering me up for?" Identify right away that this is not about getting something from them.
2. Identify one concrete example of something they said or did that was important to you. I found that I was writing in vague generalities and it started to not make sense, even to me. If I used one example, then I could do the next step.
3. Draw one or two conclusions as to how that thing impacted you and why you're grateful for it. It may have seemed pretty simple to them--a single phone call, a passed along opportunity, whatever--but it impacted you.
4. Sign off with gratitude. 

I'm already feeling that my next gratitude encounter will better communicate my appreciation for the recipient.  Hmmm, who can I thank next?

(P.S.: It seems like all "thank you" stock photos include a fountain pen. Are thank you notes that old fashioned?)

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100 Days of Gratitude, Day 5: "Planting Pecan Trees"

The most gratifying thing about my job is meeting the amazing people who change the world around us with their generosity and compassion. They lead by example in creating healthier communities and by extension a better world.  And sometimes... that's a world they won't live to see.

Alice and I are completing a series of interviews for a Capital Campaign Feasibility Study for Summit Healthcare serving Eastern Arizona. It's grueling work. Back to back interviews all day long, day after day, each of them filled with hope, expectation and uncertainty. Who will we meet this hour? Who will walk in a stranger and part as a friend? Who will inspire and humble us?

A few days ago, we were in the home of long-time community benefactors. I was looking from the eyes of the husband to the wife and being awed by the impact of their philanthropy, and I got a little chill, like I do when I've learned more than words have taught me. I saw in their eyes that this couple has spent their long life together "planting pecan trees."

As we parted, I thanked them for all the good they've done and the lives they've touched. I asked the gentleman if he knew the story of the old man who planted pecan trees. He shook his head and looked at me cautiously.

I explained...a young man comes upon a elder who is planting pecan trees. He asks the old man, "Why would you plant a pecan tree? They'll take so many years to mature that you'll never enjoy the pecans." The old man responds, "I plant these trees because all my life I've eaten pecans from trees I did not plant."

Our new friends smiled and in their eyes I saw that they intend to plant many more pecan trees, and I got another little chill.

Greek Proverb: "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

As we drove away from their home, Alice suggested, "Our next Day of Gratitude should be titled "Pecan Trees." I nodded, said "That's a good idea." And thought to myself... "Okay, I'll plant this one."

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Connect with GoalBusters     

Jim Anderson      GoalBustersJim

Alice Ferris      alice.ferris