"Life is just a pale imitation of high school"

My Alma mater, West High School, Madison, WI

In the 1980's series, thirtysomething, one character utters the line, "Life is just a pale imitation of high school." Obviously, this quote has stuck with me for a long time, among the many random verses, song lyrics and trivia trapped in my brain.

Even the most enlightened adults continue to label people for one facet of their personality--"the geek," "the jock," or "the popular girl" now replaced with "the IT guy," "the former quarterback," or "the real housewife of (fill in the blank city)." We still make decisions about a person based on who their friends are, or essentially what "clique" the person is in. We still let petty differences create big rifts that can never be forgiven. And of course, there's interpersonal drama because someone didn't do what they said they were going to do and now there's a huge blow up because you didn't get voted class president, or homecoming queen, or most likely to succeed.

But it wasn't all bad in high school, right?

Here are thoughts on things from high school to apply to adult life:

• Some people are unexpected friends. Senior night, I ended up hanging out on the bus back to the school with a bunch of people I didn't normally spend a lot of time with. My "close" friends were no where to be found. Singing "Celebration" on the bus with people who were mostly just acquaintances was the most fun I had all night. I'm still connected to some of them 26 years later, and wonder sometimes why I didn't spend more time with them in high school. Who are people now who are those unexpected friends? 
• Some people are not really your friends. I know I have my share of friends who at best, didn't keep in touch or at worst, totally abandoned me. Friends ebb and flow. Some people are more interested in your position in the clique than you personally. Let them go.
• No clique lasts forever. Cliques are based on a power balance. As cliques grow, they start to lose their influence over the members. Eventually, the power shifts and new cliques form. Sometimes you just need to wait it out.
• It might be time to graduate. You can't stay in high school forever...maybe it's time to move on to a new adventure.
• It will seem rosier when you look back on this than it feels like right now. The nostalgia card is powerful, isn't it? Someday, with the passage of time, this will not seem like a total disaster. You'll want to go back and celebrate it, for old time's sake.

Alice Ferris On The Air with Eight, Arizona PBS Pledge Drive

Alice Ferris regularly supports Public Television and Public Radio station pledge drives with her volunteer and compensated appearances. Here are some Social Media posts and threads with links from her on air work for KAET, Eight Arizona PBS June 6th. You can support Arizona Public Television now by calling 888-443-2929 or 480-965-8800. Let 'em know Alice encouraged you to call.

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GoalBusters Consulting, LLC's founding partner Alice Ferris is on the air statewide in Arizona right now! She'll end up on the air for KAET Arizona's PBS station for more than 5 hours live tonight and even more in encore performances. She started this evening at 4pm with "Great Scenic Railway Journeys." Right now she's on "Canadian Tenors" and later tonight she'll be helping with the Elaine Paige program.

Eight, Arizona PBS, is a member-supported service of Arizona State University

Eight specializes in the education of children, in-depth news and public affairs, lifelong learning, and the celebration of arts and culture — utilizing the power of noncommercial television, the Internet, educational outreach services, and community-based initiatives. View Post

John W. Dawe I'm mad crazy about Elaine Page!

Alice Ferris Fab John! :-D

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Alice Ferris just finished hosting her first pledge drive shift of the night. She's on the air statewide for Eight, Arizona PBS right now, wrapped up "Great Scenic Railway Journeys" next up "CanadianTenors" and later tonight she hosts the "Elaine Paige" program.

Mary W. Black Just saw you on Channel 8! Love those Railway Journeys! Great Job Alice!

Winona Reid She's doing a great job! I just turned to channel 8 since the CELTICS WON!! She's a celebrity now! :-)

Jim Anderson Winona, Alice has been doing public Television pledge drives since she was 15. She's been on camera since her early 20s, First for Wisconsin Public Television. She's been volunteering for KAET, AZ PBS and KUAT Tucson PBS for 14 years. (Wow!) She does 4-5 television pledge drives a year, or about 15-20 hours of HD TV airtime (multiply that 2-3x for state-wide public radio). Frequently, she's approached by people asking if she the "Public Television" lady? She also has 4 different "virtual" (pre-recorded) pledge drive programs airing throughout the country. At any given moment, she's on the air in apx 100 major cities nationwide.

Alice Ferris Thanks Mary! It was a long shift, but a good time! - Hey Winona, yes, all of what Jim said is true...although I'm now either the "Lawrence Welk lady," the "Cooks lady," or now "the Train (as in railroad) girl." Not a bad gig.

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Alice Ferris Hosting pledge on @arizonapbs today, 4pm to when they kick me out of the studio-Great Scenic Railway Journeys, Canadian Tenors, Elaine Paige

Mark S. Hunter likes this.

Paul E Doherty

Thank you for your PBS leadership -- have a great time today!

Peter Craven

Have fun! ;o)

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Alice is about to leave on a trip to Phoenix, AZ

Via TripIt

Support KAET, Eight Arizona PBS by calling 888-443-2929 or 480-965-8800. Or visiting them online at Support Arizona PBS.

Connect with GoalBusters: LinkedIn - Alice Ferris / LinkedIn - Jim Anderson / Facebook / Twitter / YouTube / Myspace

AFP Kaleidoscope Thought Leader Column: Fundraising through a Different Lens

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The following column was featured in the November 2009 issue of the Association of Fundraising Professionals' Kaleidoscope newsletter. To see the newsletter on their website, visit AFP Kaleidoscope (Online) and to become a member, visit Join AFP!

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People often ask me, “Where are you from?” I know what they are trying to ask, but most of the time I answer, “I’m from Wisconsin.” I was the first Chinese baby born at Beaver Dam Lutheran Hospital. At the time, our family was the only Asian family in Dodge County, Wis. As a child, like many minorities in small communities, I wanted nothing but to fit in. That experience made me adaptable, so I generally can find ways to connect with whatever culture I am in—except, ironically, the Chinese community. My family and I were so focused on fitting in that I received minimal exposure to Chinese traditions and norms.

When we interact with others one-to-one, it is usually easy to find things you have in common. Because of this natural inclination, we have focused on finding similarities among diverse communities as well: Where do we have common ground? How are we alike? While we need to build bridges and find those connections among communities, sometimes it feels as though we ignore the richness our differences offer.

For example, I have had the privilege of working with the Hopi Education Endowment Fund in Kykotsmovi, Ariz. (www.hopieducationfund.org), for several years. When we first started working together, we attempted to take western best practices in philanthropy and apply them to its situation. Some practices did translate well, such as most special-event strategies and direct mail. However, as we dove deeper into more complex strategies, highlighting cultural differences became the key.

When we attempted to start our planned-giving program, we initially looked at naming the program after a prominent Hopi leader who had just passed away. Culturally, planning for death is taboo among the Hopi. From what I had learned over the past few years, when you pass from this earth, those who survive are not to spend too much time mourning you, for that could block your passage into the next world. Naming a planned-giving club after this leader was not appropriate, and also raised concerns about the overall appropriateness of planned giving on Hopi in general. At one point, someone observed, “Planned giving won’t work on Hopi.”

Undeterred, we deconstructed the program: What were we trying to accomplish at the core of this? First, we wanted to provide a long-term source of funding for the organization. In addition, we wanted to offer people the option of transferring assets at a later date-and potentially give the organization a larger gift than they could afford from current cash. Those were the fundamentals, which apply to almost any planned giving program.

With those basics in mind, we requested the assistance of a Hopi language expert and started brainstorming about cultural aspects that might support our activities. After many months of discussion and reflection, a member of our committee brought forth the concept of “no’a.”

No’a has changed the way that I speak of planned giving, even when off reservation. No’a is how one generation passes valuable assets—knowledge, wealth or possessions—to the next. The elder carefully considers those around him or her and then selects a caretaker who will use the asset responsibly and share it with the community. By emphasizing this cultural norm, the fund has created “No’ayatiwqam: Those Who Have Given,” its planned-giving club that focuses on how the donor can select a responsible caretaker, such as the Hopi Education Endowment Fund, to continue to share assets with Hopi students for generations to come.

In a well-intentioned effort to break down barriers among diverse communities, we sometimes miss the color and depth that our differences can bring. As I have worked with other diverse communities, I have come to value my own cultural aspects more, and am starting to take steps toward bringing my family’s Chinese traditions into my philanthropy. By carefully analyzing philanthropic norms, finding the universal core concepts, and adding cultural strengths to these best practices, our profession will be able to make an even greater difference in the many unique communities that we serve.

Connect with GoalBusters: LinkedIn - Alice Ferris / LinkedIn - Jim Anderson / Facebook / Twitter / YouTube / Myspace