"Do I Have To?" No One Really Likes Your Donor Cultivation Events

I heard the most refreshingly honest thing from a significant donor the other day.

"Please don't invite me to another dinner party."

As a charitable sector, we plan a lot of donor cultivation events. We know we need to connect with our donor base. Inevitably, we think of things from OUR perspective: it would be so much easier if we could organize a small event and invite our best prospects. That way we can talk to all of them at once!

Have you ever stopped to consider that your donors may not like these events and come in spite of that?

Think about it. You've been invited to an event where you don't know if you'll know anyone, you don't know if you'll like anyone, and you might get stuck with someone that talks your ear off about something you don't care about, or worse, don't agree with. The food will be lackluster, the drinks will be cheap, and you'll lose an entire evening over it.

So let's think about this from the donor's perspective. What does the donor want?

Customized attention
It doesn't need to be one-on-one, per se, but your cultivation activity does need to reflect the interests of your donor or prospective donor. Ask them what they want to do to deepen their engagement. For some, it actually might be a dinner party. But for most, it will involve some kind of customized VIP experience.

Don't say "no" for them
Maybe you think that your idea of how to deepen the relationship is too much time for them, too arduous a request, too daring, or too tame. Don't automatically toss out the idea--ask the donor what they think. You never know when they might say, "Wow, I've always wanted to do that!"

Respect their time
That said, respect how much time they have to give to you. If they can only commit an hour, create an experience for an hour. It's better to schedule a return experience than leave them bored and frustrated by how much time this took.

Have them truly experience your mission
Whatever you do, make sure it connects somehow with your mission. In fact, that may be why your donor doesn't want to attend your reception or dinner party: it's so removed from what they think your mission is, that it's of no interest.

Listen
Above all, listen to their needs. It doesn't matter what YOU want to do, if it's not what the donor wants.

Dear Charity: I'm So Over You.

Dear Charity,
I could beat around the bush on this, but I probably should just get to the point.

I'm breaking up with you.

I could say, "It's me, not you," but let's be honest. This is about you.

You were really nice in the beginning. I gave you a modest donation and I got a great and prompt thank you note. I thought, "Wow, good manners." There were other charities that weren't so quick to respond...I only gave to them once.

Then, you were really good about communicating with me. You sent me emails, newsletters, and invitations to parties. You even checked in with me personally every now and then. Even when I didn't respond to everything, you kept in touch. I liked that I could learn more about you and what you were doing. I felt like I knew you.

After a while, I thought, you know, I'm ready for a more steady commitment with this charity. I don't make these decisions lightly, but I thought you were a keeper. So I increased my giving to join your ongoing monthly giving program.

At first, you showered attention on me. You thanked me for increasing my commitment. You gushed about how valuable I was. You even gave me a little gift for joining the club.

And then, after about a year, the attention stopped.

I didn't get any letters or special communication. You didn't personally call on me. It was like I didn't exist. Oh sure, you charged my credit card every month, but I didn't hear from you like I did before.

I invested all this time and resources in you. I demonstrated that I cared. And I got pushed aside for the newer donor.

It's hard feeling washed up in our relationship so soon.

So in spite of the fact that I really still care about what you do and how you change the world, I simply can't be in this relationship anymore. It's too hard for me to give so much and get back so little.

I'm sure you'll find others like me who are willing to support you. But please, don't let my relationship with you be in vain. Spend a little more time with them. Make sure they know that they are appreciated and wanted. Always deliver what you promise. Make them feel valued. Don't push them away like you pushed me away.

You'll always have a special place in my philanthropic journey, but it's better for both of us if I move on.

Good luck,
Your Former Donor

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PS: Have you talked to a long-time or monthly donor recently? If not, do it NOW.

What's Your Culture of Philanthropy?

Being a donor is often the best way to learn how to be a better fundraiser. I've experienced this on many occasions, particularly when I was the Foundation Director for Flagstaff Medical Center and was responsible for giving away a half a million dollars a year.

But right now, I'm learning a lot for another reason.

My mother-in-law, Rose Marie (Ogden) Ferris, passed away on Friday, July 19, 2013 after a long battle with emphysema. She passed peacefully with her surviving sons, Steve, Bill and Dave, nearby. While no one is ever prepared for the loss of a parent, the Ferris men are handling the transition and arrangements as well as they can. 

Of course, I was wondering how to help. I figured the things I knew how to do were planning the lunch after the service and the donations in lieu of flowers. I am a fundraiser, after all.

Here's my experience so far with the selected charitable organization:

1. It took three attempts to get in touch with someone in the development office. The volunteers and staff were uncertain who to call and asked many questions as if to "filter" me away from the development staff.
2. The person I spoke with was very nice, but neglected to get my contact information, even after I asked if she wanted it.
3. Even after I asked about naming opportunities in honor of my mother-in-law, they still don't have my contact information.

In "Under Developed:  A National Study of Challenges Facing Nonprofit Fundraising," conducted by CompassPoint and the Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund, the analysis identified a lack of a culture of philanthropy as a key weakness of the sector. Fund development and philanthropy needs to be "understood and valued across the organization."

So I write this not to "flog" the organization in question; they took very good care of Rose and we're working out the details of the donations. But how can this, or any other, culture be improved?

Here are my suggestions:

• Make regular contact with your "directors of first contact." Who is the first person who will interact with a potential donor? Make sure they know who you are and you know who THEY are.
  
  The first volunteer we spoke with on site didn't really know what we were asking for. The second volunteer that we were referred to looked through the binder at the front desk and said, "I can't remember the lady's name who does this sort of thing." The third volunteer was almost protective--"Why do you want to speak to them? Can you give me more information?"
  
  Highlight a handful of key people in this role--people who are willing to participate and receive additional training. As they develop their persona of "brand ambassador" for the organization, their enthusiasm will eventually spread throughout the rest of the front line.
  
• Assume that your team isn't as comfortable interacting with donors as you might be. More often than we care to admit, our teams are terrified of our donors. Many of the staff don't know what to say or how to act around donors, mostly because they're afraid they'll say something wrong. Help your team understand their role in thanking donors, whether they are current, past or future. Provide them with regular training on how to communicate with external audiences as well, as communication skills are critical.
  
• Make sure you understand why they work for your organization. It's not just about you: what makes your colleagues tick? What are they passionate about related to your cause? If you understand that, you can help them find their own story that they can share. You can also help them relate to a donor, saying, "Our donors are excited about our organization, too."
  
• Collect donor information, even if you're not sure where the relationship will go. Especially if the donor initiated the contact. They want to start a relationship with you--at least have a way to follow up.
  
• Be a donor to your organization on a regular basis. Do a little "secret shopping." Call your main line. Find out what happens when someone asks to donate. Then use your experience to improve.

Culture of philanthropy is a challenging thing to build and maintain at any nonprofit organization. It requires a consistent investment of your time as a development professional, but you never know when a donor will not be as persistent as I am.

In memory of Rose Marie Ferris, mother, grandmother, wife and author, 1938-2013.

Answers to Fundraising's Persistent Questions

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We recently conducted a webinar on How to Create a Yearlong Fundraising Plan, hosted by Stevenson, Inc. We got some good questions during the session, so we thought we'd share two of them, and our answers.

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Q: Do you have any strategies for donor acquisition during these tougher times?

Focus on donor participation, and not necessarily on size of gift. Right now we have a lot of people who are scaling back on their contributions, but are no less committed to the causes they believe in. Economic conditions may have led them to reduce their overall charitable giving budget, so if they could give $100 to a single charity last year, they may only be able to give $50 this year. They already feel sad about that—you don’t need to rub it in! Help them feel like whatever amount they can give is important.

If you have suggested dollar amounts on your solicitations, you may want to add a lower end suggested amount and drop one of your higher end levelsa

I would not, however, add premiums at this time, and if you are using premiums (tote bags, decals, etc.) I would scale back. Donors want to know that you are using their money for the cause, not for premiums. Anything that seems like waste will be a turnoff for potential donors.

Q: You have 10 minutes to introduce your organization to a business. How do you do that and once you do that, when do you make the ask? Do you leave and make a second visit or do you make the ask right there after the presentation?


First of all, if you said you were coming to provide them with information, you should not ask unless they tell you to. No one likes being ambushed. If you said you were coming to ask for their support, then yes, you can ask for their support after the presentation.

Before your presentation, you should already know basic information about the business—who is their target market, what other causes do they support, what kinds of connections do they have to your organization? Don’t use your valuable presentation time asking basic questions or giving them information they already know.

If you have ten minutes, focus on people and results. If possible, find a way to get them to ask questions. Adults are generally more engaged if they are an active part of the learning process and if they are provided with practical solutions to problems.

Pick a story: you could talk about a student who benefited from a scholarship, or a person who received lifesaving care, or an artist that provided an inspiring performance…whatever the human face is for your organization, talk about it. Your potential donors generally don’t need to know process, details on history—you just need to make them feel good about the organization.

Find a way to draw them into the story—questions like “what would you do if you were in such and such situation?” Of course, make sure that your organization solves that problem!

Ask for feedback to make sure you’re not talking at them. If they seem disengaged, ask what kinds of information they would like to have. Be ready to end the meeting early if necessary—they will appreciate you not wasting their time.

If they seem really excited about the program, go ahead and ask them if this is the kind of project they would like to support. Again, if you said this was just going to be informational, do NOT whip out a prepared proposal. But be ready to follow up with a proposal immediately after the meeting if they want one.

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