100 Days of Gratitude, Day 7: It's Not Who You Know, It's Who Believes In You

Paul Helford, NAU November 1994

When I hear someone say, "I'm a selfmade man/woman," or... "No one gave me a thing," I know they are either lying or oblivious. Because no one succeeds alone. Everyone is helped in their journey by people who care about and believe in them enough to help them find opportunities. My life is filled with these people, much like yours is.

For me, one of these people is Paul Helford, who I called to thank for believing in me for all these years. Paul teaches many courses at Northern Arizona University including "The Art of Cinema," "Audio/Visual Storytelling," and "Screenwriting." This seems apropos considering Paul helped me set the stage for success and scripted a few pages of my future.

I invited Paul to dinner where I'll thank him for all he has done.  For now, I'll share just 3 ways he has demonstrated his belief in me.

He trusted that I was capable. When I was working my way through college, Paul always had "a new project" to discuss with me. They were diverse, exciting, challenging and sometimes a little scary. Paul would offer me these opportunities because he felt that I had the skills and motivation to be successful. (...and he was compassionate) I often arrived at his office to discuss a potential project with my 6 year old daughter in tow. Paul was always happy to see Whitney. He'd open his "snack drawer" filled with granola bars and let her pick something to enjoy. She'd watch cartoons as Paul and I discussed his ideas, projects and opportunities.

Alpha Lambda Delta Honor Society Induction Nov 1994

He encouraged my leadership development. Paul has always seemed confident that if I was willing and eager to try something new, I would learn how to succeed. Paul helped me turn my "abundant confidence and foolish optimism" into meaningful leadership roles through his mentoring and friendship. Whether it was for small teams or larger clubs and organizations Paul provided opportunities for and supported my personal growth.

He enabled my "Big Switch" Career Change. Years later, after a successful career in corporate sales for national media research companies, I grew disillusioned and was faced with a choice regarding how I would write the next chapter of my life. It had to be fulfilling and significant. I needed to make a difference. Paul believed in me enough to help me earn a spot as an instructor at NAU where I taught communications, research, marketing, promotion and sales to hundreds of students each semester. This was an amazing experience and supported the instruction and education work I do now.

But the most significant impact Paul has had on my life, was that he gave my phone number to a friend of his who gave it to Alice Ferris, who hired me and later invited me to partner in her consulting firm, which we rebranded as GoalBusters Consulting. But "that" is a blog for another day.

Thank you for everything Paul! Not just for what you've meant to my family but for everything you've done for the thousands of students whose lives you've touched and for those you'll meet next semester.

PS: (Ok, I know I said 3, but I have one more way Paul helped me.)

Whitney, Jim & Justin - November 1994

He helped put food on my table.
In college, my ex-wife and I were "tag-team" parents, each working multiple part-time jobs while carrying heavy course loads and taking turns caring for our two children. It was always hard to make ends meet. Paul didn't know that I regularly visited a local food bank when he either hired me or helped me find employment projects. The "extra work" he helped me find, improved our quality of life and increased the happiness in our home with each time sheet I turned in. For this, I am also eternally grateful.

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Connect with GoalBusters     

Jim Anderson      GoalBustersJim

Alice Ferris      alice.ferris

100 Days of Gratitude, Day 6: How to Thank "Just Because"

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wrote another thank you note today. It was to someone who's been a good friend who has had a tough few months.

As I was writing the note, I realized that, just like my first note in the 100 days, I don't write these often enough. Also, it's one thing to write a note to someone for a tangible item, like a gift. It's completely another to thank someone "just because."

In the nonprofit world, we as fundraising practitioners often ask our volunteers to call someone to "just thank them for their support." Equally as often, our volunteers put it off. Why?

Because it's different to thank someone for something intangible.

So based on the first week of the 100 Days of Gratitude, here are my tips.

1. Acknowledge that this thanks is "out of the blue." We live in a transactional environment. The recipient might think, "What are they buttering me up for?" Identify right away that this is not about getting something from them.
2. Identify one concrete example of something they said or did that was important to you. I found that I was writing in vague generalities and it started to not make sense, even to me. If I used one example, then I could do the next step.
3. Draw one or two conclusions as to how that thing impacted you and why you're grateful for it. It may have seemed pretty simple to them--a single phone call, a passed along opportunity, whatever--but it impacted you.
4. Sign off with gratitude. 

I'm already feeling that my next gratitude encounter will better communicate my appreciation for the recipient.  Hmmm, who can I thank next?

(P.S.: It seems like all "thank you" stock photos include a fountain pen. Are thank you notes that old fashioned?)

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100 Days of Gratitude, Day 5: "Planting Pecan Trees"

The most gratifying thing about my job is meeting the amazing people who change the world around us with their generosity and compassion. They lead by example in creating healthier communities and by extension a better world.  And sometimes... that's a world they won't live to see.

Alice and I are completing a series of interviews for a Capital Campaign Feasibility Study for Summit Healthcare serving Eastern Arizona. It's grueling work. Back to back interviews all day long, day after day, each of them filled with hope, expectation and uncertainty. Who will we meet this hour? Who will walk in a stranger and part as a friend? Who will inspire and humble us?

A few days ago, we were in the home of long-time community benefactors. I was looking from the eyes of the husband to the wife and being awed by the impact of their philanthropy, and I got a little chill, like I do when I've learned more than words have taught me. I saw in their eyes that this couple has spent their long life together "planting pecan trees."

As we parted, I thanked them for all the good they've done and the lives they've touched. I asked the gentleman if he knew the story of the old man who planted pecan trees. He shook his head and looked at me cautiously.

I explained...a young man comes upon a elder who is planting pecan trees. He asks the old man, "Why would you plant a pecan tree? They'll take so many years to mature that you'll never enjoy the pecans." The old man responds, "I plant these trees because all my life I've eaten pecans from trees I did not plant."

Our new friends smiled and in their eyes I saw that they intend to plant many more pecan trees, and I got another little chill.

Greek Proverb: "A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

As we drove away from their home, Alice suggested, "Our next Day of Gratitude should be titled "Pecan Trees." I nodded, said "That's a good idea." And thought to myself... "Okay, I'll plant this one."

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Connect with GoalBusters     

Jim Anderson      GoalBustersJim

Alice Ferris      alice.ferris